Discipline Techniques for 5 Year Olds

Discipline for 5 Year Old

What are the best discipline techniques for a 5-year-old? My husband and I struggle on a daily basis to try to figure it out. There are just so many discipline techniques in which to choose from.  Like many kids, our little one can be pretty darn stubborn when she doesn’t want to do something. Getting her to brush her teeth, leave the playground, or dressed for school can be quite challenging. How do we feel when she starts acting like this Frustrated! We either start yelling or bribing her to get her to do what we’ve asked. Neither tactic is very beneficial and makes us feel like we’re failing as parents. I know we could definitely benefit from taking some parenting courses, reading a book (I hear Your Best Child Ever Book is pretty good), or re-watching a few episodes of Super Nanny.  In our defense, it’s not like we’ve been given the best tools from our own parents on how best to raise a child. Like most working parents; we’re just doing the best we can.

Old School vs. Hippy Parenting Discipline Techniques

In my own upbringing, spanking was quite a common consequence when one of us kids refused to do something, talked at the dinner table, or stated an opinion that wasn’t asked for. Complete old school and pretty heavy-handed compared to our current modern-day way of parenting. Yet many of the kids raised in the 60s were brought up this way. If we had been naughty, fear of a hand slap or a belt made my brothers and sisters scramble to hide just upon hearing our dad’s car pull up in the driveway. The belt ruled supreme in my household growing up. So, with that upbringing, my parenting style today consists of making sure I do the exact opposite of what my parents did. In doing that, I find that I can be kind of a pushover. On occasion, I must admit, that I do feel a little resentment that she has it so easy. I’ll even try to explain to her in the middle of one of my rants how in my day we got spanked or humiliated by our parents and in some cases even our teachers’ blah, blah, blah… But, she just shrugs off what I’m saying and continues on with her bad behavior.

Old Fashioned Parenting Techniques

My husband’s parents on the other hand weren’t strict at all. He had very few household rules, no curfew, was rarely disciplined, and wasn’t held accountable for his grades. When on occasion he was disciplined, he’d get a very strong grumbling or a pack of cigarettes thrown at him by his parents that made him stop in his tracks immediately and do what was asked of him. Though I find that truly hard to believe, my husband swears that was the case. I just think he must have been the perfect child. My husband’s parenting technique today is a bit all over the place. He can be super easygoing and just tickle our daughter into submission, which she absolutely loves or completely walk away from a bad situation to have me step in to resolve it.

The Naughty Step Discipline Technique

My husband and I tried the Time Out or Naughty Step technique for a while. If you don’t know what it is you can find out a little about it on Super Nanny. Many of my friends who are parents swear by this technique and manage to successfully use it on their 5-year-olds today. Unfortunately, this technique stopped working for us when our daughter got stronger and could fight back. Not only did my back start hurting having to place her back on the “Naughty Spot” over and over again, I found the technique to be a bit too forceful at times. To be fair to the Super Nanny show, I most likely never learned to do the Naughty Step Technique correctly.

Jo Frost from the Super Nanny – Naughty Step Technique

I’m Counting to 5 or a Toy Gets Taken Away Discipline Technique

Surprisingly, I’m counting on 5 discipline technique that works pretty well for us most of the time. Like most children, our daughter loves her toys. What better way to get her attention to do something we’ve asked than to threaten to take her stuff away, if she doesn’t? The counting begins after I nicely ask if she would please help me to do something and she doesn’t. I then say back to her “I’m going to start counting to 5 and if you don’t have that toy cleaned up you’ll have your Barbie bag taken away… 1, 2, 3,4, 5.” It seems that it rarely comes to 5 before she does the task at hand. Although, I must admit that there have been a few stressful occasions where the technique has failed miserably into a full-on pulling and screaming match if I didn’t grab the toy I was taken away in time.

You Better Be Nice! Cuz Santa Claus is Coming Discipline Technique

I think this past August was probably a bit too soon to start using the “Santa Claus is watching you so you better be good” technique. But, it has worked on a few occasions especially if we pretended to call Santa on the phone. We happened to get a great boost on this technique this past week thanks to a site called PortableNorthPole.com. Super well produced! A parent can have a child receive an email with a video of Santa talking directly to them using their name, age, and grade they are attending. I watched our daughter awestruck as she watched Santa talking about the gift he would bring to her ONLY if “She did a better job listening to her Mommy”.  Yes! You can design the video to challenges you and your child may be having. Nice touch PNP!

Whisper Principle & Color Behavioral Clip Chart Technique

I don’t know much about the Whisper Principle technique but my daughter’s Kindergarten teacher uses it quite regularly in her classroom. The only reason I know this is because when my daughter plays a teacher at home, she whispers in my ear what I’m supposed to be doing if I’m not doing what she has asked of me.  Her teacher also uses a color chart in the classroom where clips move up and down on different colors depending on how well the child is behaving in class. I’m glad to see that on most days my daughter seems to be in the green. Funny thing, after a few weeks of using this chart at school she actually created her own color behavioral chart at home. Each family member including the dog was assigned a clip that she moved up and down depending on whether we had done what was asked by her.

Behavior Color Clip Chart
Behavior Color Clip Chart

After she created her own behavior chart at home, I started wondering if it would be wise to look for a more sophisticated one we could have at home. So, I went to our local  Learning Store to find out.  I was amazed at all the different charts they had. Ultimately, I decided to buy the Good for Me Reward Kit for about $20. This chart is pretty cool in that we’re able to create the tasks we want our daughter to accomplish on a daily basis. These tasks consist of picking up her toys, doing homework, brushing her teeth, etc. We also decide how many stars she must earn to receive a particular cash reward.  So far it has worked pretty well for us.  So well in fact, that our daughter is in the process of saving two weeks of good behavior to earn a toy that costs more than just one week.

Good for Me Reward Behavior Chart
Good for Me Reward Behavior Chart

Different Parental Discipline Techniques We’ve Tried

Looking back, disciplining our daughter until she was about 2 seemed pretty easy. Though, I’m most likely suffering from what parents like to call Parental Amnesia. But, I truly feel that disciplining her got a whole lot harder when she learned to say “No!”  Obviously, we should be more consistent with our disciplining style. But, sometimes things work and sometimes they don’t.  So, don’t be afraid to change it up if something isn’t working.

No doubt they’re tons of ways you can help your child make the right choices to not behave badly.  Your approach may depend on your child’s age and maturity level as well. As you can see, I’m definitely no expert. I’m just kind of winging it as I go. Hopefully, if you are having some challenges you can get some ideas from what I’ve tried so far. Truly the best advice I’ve ever heard is that in most situations when you’re child is not listening you should keep your cool. Ignore the bad, unless your child is in danger, and reward the good. It’s easier said than done, right?

In what ways do you keep your cool when your child gets a little out of control and doesn’t listen? Have any great discipline behavioral tools you like to share with our readers? Please share!

FAQs about Discipline 5-year-olds

How do you discipline a 5-year-old who doesn’t listen?

Disciplining a 5-year-old requires patience and consistency. Start by making sure your expectations are clear and communicating them calmly and clearly. When the child does not meet these expectations, follow through with agreed-upon consequences in a consistent manner. Be firm but fair and make sure to pay attention to positive behaviors to encourage good listening habits.

What is appropriate discipline for a 5-year-old?

Discipline should be age-appropriate and focus on teaching the child right from wrong. For a five-year-old, this could include time-outs, taking away privileges, or natural consequences of the child’s behavior. The goal is to help the child learn better behavior and develop their own sense of responsibility.

Is it normal for a 5-year-old to be defiant?

Five-year-olds have limited abilities to control themselves and their environment, so it is common for them to exhibit signs of defiance or disobedience. It’s important to remember that children of this age are still learning how to recognize, express and regulate their emotions, as well as figuring out how to understand others’ points of view and comply with rules.

How do you deal with a disobedient 5-year-old?

When dealing with a disobedient 5-year-old, try to remain calm and set boundaries. Speak with respect, listen actively, and provide plenty of encouragement when they display desirable behaviors. Provide a logical consequence whenever possible, explain why it is necessary, and offer an alternative response the next time they face a similar situation.

How do I get my 5-year-old to listen and behave?

Consistency is key when it comes to getting a 5-year-old to listen and behave. Create simple rules and expectations that are reinforced daily, provide positive reinforcement for good behaviors, ignore minor misbehaviors, and use gentle reminders if needed. Make sure to involve your child in setting the rules and responsibilities so they feel involved in the process.

What is a good punishment for being disrespectful?

Respectful treatment is essential for fostering a healthy relationship between parents and their children. If your child is disrespectful, it’s important to take immediate action. Try an age-appropriate consequence like removing privileges, implementing time-out intervals, or having a conversation about why their disrespectful behavior is not acceptable.

Why is my 5-year-old so angry and defiant?

Children at the age of 5 are often still developing their emotional regulation skills, which can lead to frequent tantrums and difficult behaviors like anger and defiance. It can be challenging to deal with these behaviors, but it is important to remain calm while helping them understand why these behaviors are not okay. Offering ample support, empathy, and understanding can help them cope with their feelings in more constructive ways.

How do you punish a 5-year-old for bad behavior at school?

Punishment is not always the best form of discipline for children at this age. Instead of punishing your child for bad behavior at school, try talking to them about what happened and why their behavior was wrong. Make sure they understand why it was wrong and what kind of behavior you expect of them in future situations. Then you can work together on techniques to help them control their actions when feeling frustrated or overwhelmed.

Is it normal for a 5-year-old to have temper tantrums?

Temper tantrums are very common in young children as they are still developing the emotional regulation skills necessary to control their reactions. It can be draining for parents, but it’s important to stay calm throughout the episode and respond in a way that will help lesson its intensity. Provide comfort without intensifying the behavior, remain consistent with expectations and boundaries, and avoid giving in as it teaches them that tantrums are an effective way to get what they want.

What are cruel punishments for children?

Cruel punishments for children include physical disciplines such as spanking or hitting, shouting or yelling at the child, threatening them with abandonment or harm, withholding love or affection as punishment, forcing the child to stay in uncomfortable positions or alone in a room for extended periods of time, or any other forms of punishment that degrade or humiliate the child. These types of punishments are both ineffective and damaging.

Can yelling at a child cause anxiety?

Yes, yelling at a child can cause anxiety. Yelling may lead the child to believe that they are not safe in their environment, causing them to shut down or become defensive. This can then lead to feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, anxiety or even anger issues. It’s important to be mindful of our words and tone when speaking with children and choose methods of discipline that teach rather than degrade or humiliate them.

What is a cruel form of punishment?

A cruel form of punishment is anything that intimidates or hurts a child physically or emotionally. Examples include physical abuse such as hitting or spanking; using language that belittles or insults the child; using fear tactics such as threats; shaming or humiliating; locking children in rooms; withholding food or necessities; or ignoring or withholding affection. Cruel punishments can damage the relationship between parent and child and have long-lasting negative effects on the child’s development.

What is accountability for a 5-year-old?

Accountability for a 5-year-old is about teaching responsibility and reinforcing expectations around desired behaviors. This includes explaining why certain behaviors are important (e.g., respecting others), helping the child learn techniques for regulating their emotions and staying focused (e.g., deep breathing), providing positive reinforcement for good behavior, discussing mistakes openly and helping them learn problem-solving skills, and offering consistent guidance and praise.

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