The struggle of how to make time for yourself is real when you are a mom!!
Do you remember your “pre-kid” version? How you were able to sleep peacefully at night. How your mornings were always felt fresh and energized. How you could get to enjoy yourself some alone time and how you were free to hang out with friends and family on weekends!!
Well, after kids this life almost vanished and a new adventure began in your life, right? When those bundles of joy enter in our life, they change almost everything and sometimes ( actually MOST of the times!) leave us tired and exhausted to do anything we actually want to do!
Though we moms love our children more than anything, we still crave for some sound sleep and some time for yourself! I always do! We often find stretching ourselves over taking care of our little ones and get all the work done in limited time of 24 hours every day!! There should have been more hours in a day!! I have wished for those extra hours for many times since I had my daughter! After all how else are you supposed to make time for yourself and enjoy your book or finally get to watch a movie!! Or maybe just sit quietly and enjoy your cup of coffee!
Is there any way to find time for Yourself after you have kids?
I used to wonder this a lot. And the answer is – YES!!
After I had my daughter, she became the center of my life! All I did was either feed her or put her to sleep or play with her the whole day!! She needed attention ALL THE TIME !! And I felt so exhausted all the time because I felt stuck in that routine and there was no change!! It was hard for me to believe I could manage to get some time for myself through this routine and even if I get some time then there was always a looooong to-do list waiting for me !! How to get time for MYSELF and enjoy a little? are you really kidding me?
No. I am not kidding!! I know how busy your mom life is and how exhausted you are but still you can manage to get some time for yourself and be that “pre-kid” version of yourself again!! After all there is nothing more important than yourself in your life. And in order to take care of your family and children you NEED to take care of yourself first!!
Your diet is not only what you eat. It’s what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, the people you hang around…. be mindful of the things you put into your body emotionally, spiritually and physically.
That means you should consider what you are doing in order to live a life that you love! You can’t give others that love and care unless you are feeling well physically, emotionally and spiritually!! And to achieve that wellness in your life you need to take care of yourself regularly! Which you were able to do before you had kids, right?!!
But even now while dealing with toddlers and newborns you can get time do what you really love to do! Here are some strategies to help you manage your time and get to do those “pre-kid” activities you absolutely love and make you feel refreshed!!
Prioritize Mom Time
Maybe you have noticed,- it’s always about the priority!! Unless you think it’s really important you never give it a thought!
Self care should be your number one priority!
When you make it important for yourself then you consider about actually doing it and you actively think about how you can do it!! Well that’s the key! As a mom we always put our needs behind. Our family and children comes first when it comes to read a book or a casual (and very tempting) meet up with our best friend (or friends) ! No matter how much you want to go and read that book or meet your best friend you never give it much importance to actually take out some time from your busy schedule and do it! How can it be more important than the dishes waiting for you in the sink now, is it?
But let me tell you this, it’s always you who decides your priorities in your life!! You have the ultimate control !! Those dishes in the sink can wait a while if you need your own time for some reading or watching Netflix or just relax and ponder over something!! Your husband can watch over your children while you are having your much needed break! You will find ways to do things you love to do if you give them that much importance.
So, from now on put yourself on a higher priority. It will make it easy for you to take decisions!
Plan your days
One thing that I have learned through last 2 years is – Planning is very helpful and essential when it comes to make more time for yourself through your busy day!
You have set your priorities. Now , it’s time to do some planning!!
To start planning, first I usually write down everything that I do and want to do through out my day. Then according to priorities I decide which chores I need to do and which chores can wait up for next day. There are some chores that we do on regular basis, like – cooking breakfast, meals and dinners, feeding our children, cleaning house. These tasks take particular time of your day . So I plan my prioritized tasks in between these chores.
I write down how much time do I get in a day after doing this every day chores and when do I get it. And then plan my other activities around this remaining time. It helps me to get an oversight about when can I get some time for myself. You can use this method to plan your day and find time for yourself.
You can always postpone your not-so-urgent tasks and use that time to do what you love to do! Just don’t stress over work and the to-do lists and children. Plan your day and don’t try to do everything every day! It’s okay to take a break ! So include your “me-time” in that plan ( make it a compulsion for yourself)!!
Make It Happen!
his next step is mostly ignored by many (or maybe all) of us!
Stick to your plan! Follow your plan (actually)!!
If you are like me then you probably love and enjoy doing the planning but when it comes to executing your plan you back down or just don’t follow it! Or may be just don’t feel motivated enough for it! I totally get this! But it’s the truth that only planning is not gonna make time for you. You HAVE TO follow your plan If you really want to make some time for yourself and enjoy it!
Well, what can be more motivating that working to get some time to enjoy yourself??? I always tell myself that if I do things as I planned then I will definitely get time to read books. And it motivates me enough to push myself!
The key to follow your plan is – do one thing at a time! we always feel overwhelmed by the amount of work needed to be get done plus pressure of our plan! This overwhelm makes us stuck where we are and doesn’t help us to achieve our goals! So don’t stress yourself over the planned work! Just focus on the task in your hand and complete it before (even) reading the next task! Complete your tasks one by one according to the plan. While you are doing one thing, don’t think about the remaining to-do chores. Thinking about them is not going to help, it will rather pull you towards the overwhelming phase! So just keep doing what you are doing at the moment and move to next one after completing it. And before you know it, all your tasks will be done according to your plan! YAY!!
The other thing that makes it difficult to follow your plan is – pressure of your plan!! Many times we feel the pressure of work that is to be done according to the plan! But remember, It’s okay If you couldn’t do something that you planned because of some uncalled situations or troubles!! Maybe you planned to declutter you wardrobe and suddenly a distant relative decided to show up at your home that day!! You can’t help it but postpone (again) the task and attend them!! Or maybe you or one of your family member caught the flue and you couldn’t make your plan work because you had to take care of that member !!
Life happens!!! you can’t change it or help it! So just relax and don’t get stressed over the “to-do” things and pressure of your plan! Make your plan flexible, because when such situations will come you will be ready and won’t get overwhelmed or stressed!!
Remember, You can always make changes to your plan when it’s necessary. After all it’s your plan and you made it to simplify your life and achieve your desired goal! So don’t be hard on yourself. Take it easy and follow your plan and make time for yourself to enjoy !!
These 3 simple strategies will definitely help you to find time for yourself. If you want to enjoy your weekend as your pre-kid version then plan your week so you will get free time at the weekend. What about children? Well, your husband can watch over them or if possible ask your or your husbands parents to watch over them. This way your kids will enjoy the change with their grandparents and your parents will also be happy to spend their time with kids. This will form good memories for kids and good bonding between kids and grandparents!! Sounds great, isn’t it??
So, ladies apply these strategies –
- Prioritize yourself
- Plan your days
- Implement your plans
-to your daily life and make time for yourself! You’ll surely see positive results and your happier version as you’ll spend some time just for yourself!!
Let me know, if these strategies were helpful for you to make time for yourself and practice some self care and enjoy yourself!!