“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.” -Thomas Aquinas
The laughter, the good times, the support… Having a great group of friends is a wonderful thing to feel. When I first became pregnant, I noticed that there was a slight shift in my friendships. We stopped hanging out as much, and our conversations became further and further apart. Not intentionally, of course. It’s just that I was setting out on a different path in life than they were. Heading into uncharted territory, if you will.
It’s hard for your non-mom compatriots to relate to your day to day life as a mother. There is not a reason in the world why you shouldn’t still be friends, but with this new change, you are going to need to make some new friends.
Friends who won’t judge you when you have spit up on your T-shirt and crumbs in your hair.
Friends who won’t question why you are still in your pajamas at 3 in the afternoon (and who will likely show up to your house in yoga pants with no intention of doing yoga).
Friends who can be your guide when you feel like you’re floundering at parenthood and assure you they’ve been in your position before.
Those friends are what you might call a “mom tribe”, a collection of mothers who just get it. A group of friends who won’t judge your parenting travails and will celebrate your joys. Read on to discover three ways you might start building your mom tribe.
1. Head to the park or the library.
The park, the library, or other spots you bring your kids to are excellent places to reach other moms. Although for many of us, this can be very awkward and difficult. I mean, what do you say to a complete stranger?
-“Hey, I noticed you have a kid. I have a kid. Want to be friends?”
If only it were that easy.
But it doesn’t have to be that difficult, either. Odds are they are also looking for a mom friend. Strike up a conversation by maybe asking her about her child. It’s a bonus if they are about the same age because you can propose you get together for playdates.
2. Join a local mom’s Facebook group.
Interacting on social media might take some pressure off meeting someone in person. If you are too shy or nervous about introducing yourself at the park, joining a Facebook group is your best option.
In the search bar, type in your location or neighborhood followed by “mom” and see what pops up. You should see things like Moms of Austin or Charlotte Moms and Babies. These groups were started with the very intention of bringing moms together to form a tribe. Here you can readily get and give advice, share stories, and just talk to other moms. You can even set up play dates or a mama’s night out, too. Oh, and sharing all the memes… who doesn’t love the memes?!
3. Sign up for Hello Mamas.
Discovering mom friends is a little bit like dating…Okay, it is exactly like dating. We’re searching for something serious, and we are terrified of screwing it up. It’s uncomfortable in the beginning, and not everyone clicks, but when you find the right person, you’ve gained a lifetime with each other.
And similar to online dating sites, there’s are online mommy friend finders.
They help mamas at every stage of the motherhood journey to meet local mothers for friendship and support, find playmates and playdates for kids, and get answers to the most common questions mothers to have.
You start by filling out a survey about your values, parenting style, how many kids you have, etc. Then you are paired up with other nearby moms who are similar. You can also use a MomFinder tool to look for other moms who live in your area.
No one can go through motherhood without a friend by her side. Build your tribe and cherish it. This mom gig is the toughest of them all.