When you and your partner have been together a while, you may notice that things aren’t as intense as they were when you first started dating. This could be normal, or it could be symptoms of something bigger that’s damaging your relationship without you even noticing. Luckily there are a few things to look out for to avoid sabotaging your relationship.

Feeling jealous when something amazing happens to your partner.

Your partner is supposed to be equal. Their success is your success. You are there to support their achievements, just like you hope they will be when something amazing happens to you.

You nag on them for their flaws and forget to complement their strengths

It’s easy to complain to your partner about the little things they do that bug you, because well it’s annoying. But it’s incredibly important to tone down the amount of nagging you do, and turn up the compliments. If you notice them doing something nice for you, make sure you say it out loud. Even if it’s something as small as unloading the dishwasher without you asking, say thank you. Being appreciated for the small things in a relationship goes a long way.

You don’t talk about your issues

We can’t stress this enough; every single relationship has issues, and brushing them off or getting mad in your head is not healthy. Now we aren’t saying to pick fights all the time or bring up every little thing but talk about the bigger things. Talk to your partner at the right time and in a constructive way. Doing this will allow you to talk about how your feeling and allows them to change their behavior, or at least know your feelings before it turns into a big problem. Silently stewing about issues does no good.

You forget how great you have it

It’s normal to sometimes forget how great you have it. Your partner is helpful, kind, generous and makes you laugh, but there’s this one teeny tiny little thing that bugs you and you hone in on that. Wrong! No one is perfect and you’ll almost never find someone who you love 100% of the things they do. It’s important to look past the little flaws and remind yourself, and your partner, how great you have it.

You keep things from each other

“Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone.”

There’s a reason this is a common childhood expression, and that’s because it’s true. Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, keeping secrets from each other is not a good thing. Little secrets like the extra cookie you had for lunch, are ok secrets to have, but keeping big secrets from your partner is a recipe for disaster. Be open with your partner, and true that your secret is safe with them.

There you have it. 5 ways you may be sabotaging your relationship and not even know it. Are you guilty of some of these? Have you been in previous relationships? Let us know how you went about identifying the issues, and how you solved them, in the comment section below!

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